Week 40 (Oct 1 – Oct 7)

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Oof – don’t love that for the past 2 weeks, I’ve been lagging on my blogging deadline!! Notably, both weeks I’ve had relatively legitimate reasons for delaying, but I don’t want to get into this habit.

In general, I’ve been feeling… well, honestly, just lazy. I’m not feeling as motivated to pursue my goals – I haven’t been running as much, I’ve been allowing myself exceptions to my sugar rules, it’s Tuesday and I’m just now writing this!!!

How do I recapture drifting interest? I don’t want to lose my focus or drive to be active, but I haven’t felt this sense of waning energy before – not in this way.

Can I blame the weather for this? It’s been so chilly lately, and it’s getting darker earlier, and people get murdered when they run at night so… no need to run!!! Valid, ish, to an extent, but I know I’m just doing it to put off things I know I should be doing.

At least I was active this weekend, even if it didn’t include running. I went camping with Stephen and Micah!

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We had a long weekend, so on Sunday we decided to take a little trip up to the San Gabriel Canyon road into the nearby campgrounds. I always forget how close we are to the wilderness – only 40 minutes from home and we’re surrounded by trees and have no cell service! I love camping, but it can feel like such a task to prepare for – so many things to prepare, just to sleep in the woods for a night. Of course, when you get down to it, it’s not actually that difficult, and you just make it happen, and you get to enjoy it later!

Even though we just spent one night on the mountain, I really felt like I got to detach from my normal life for a bit, which was nice. My emotions, goals, and expectations for what I want to come next in my life have been all over the place recently, but camping felt so peaceful – so distant from everything that’s been stressing me.

I found myself basking in the silence of the wilderness, the occasional cacophony of Stephen and Micah’s banter mixing with the birds chirping, and the wind howling. I thought —

There is pain, yes. An undiagnosed bump, an uncertainty about where to go next, and an ache in my heart that won’t go away.

But there is also joy, and peace, and clamoring boys full of life. Campsites and fires, rocks for climbing, and marbled sunlight filtering through hundreds of trees.

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My boys ❤

And good (silly) books for reading!!

I finished It Happened One Autumn, by Lisa Kleypas, while we were camping. It’s the second book in her Wallflower series – historical romance novels about four single friends finding the loves of their lives. What fun!

Overall, this was a fun one! Out of the 3 Lisa Kleypas novels I’ve read, it would probably come last, behind A Wallflower Christmas and Again the Magic.

Pros:
— Lisa remains the only author to make me interested in reading historical fiction. Probably because of the sex. lol. But really.
–Very into female friendships without drama. There’s never a doubt that the women in these novels care about each other. Lots of drama with men, but very little with each other.

Cons:
— Simon had so many visible signs of toxic masculinity. Even if Annabelle stood up to him when he exhibited them, it still just felt ridiculous that she would stay with this guy who so blatantly believes that her job, as a wife, is to obey him. He never comes to the realization that his thoughts and expectations of her, as a wife, are toxic. He just… says he loves her a whole lot? But saying you love someone is not the same as respecting them, and I suppose in the end, it felt like he would only respect her so long as she remained in the mental box her put her in.
–The narrative glazes over some of the more traumatic moments of Annabelle’s life, without delving into how these issues would really affect her. For example, one disgusting man perpetually makes inappropriate advances on her, going so far as to assault her in an abandoned hallway. MINUTES LATER, she’s making out with Simon because they’re made for each other and they cannot keep their hands off each other. Just felt a bit jolting and reductive of the feelings that would likely accompany… you know… being assaulted.

Of course, immediately after finishing this one (or, immediately after coming home from camping, taking a shower, taking a nap, and making myself a lil dinner), I went to Vroman’s and picked up a few new books. One is called On Chesil Beach, by Ian McEwen – recommended to me by Liz. The other is Hank Green’s debut novel An Absolutely Remarkable Thing – which should be interesting to read, since it seems to touch pretty heavily on the industry I work in!

Song of the week: Don’t Think Twice, by… well, Bob Dylan, but I know it because of Peter, Paul, and Mary.

I chose this song for this week because my family always listens to Peter, Paul, and Mary’s best hits whenever we go camping! This is one of my dad’s favorite songs – when it comes on, he’ll listen through it once, then immediately go back and repeat it… and again… and again. And honestly – it never gets old!

I’ve put it on my camping playlist and it was Micah / Stephen approved. A good song. A good weekend. A good time to be alive.

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