(Written April 2, 2013)
Sometimes, I wish I could have just one solitary friend in the world; perhaps two.
We could talk to only each other, but also not talk to only each other.
We could spend our days together without worrying about social statutes or kindness but we could just be. And be together.
Our days would be filled with one another and no one else.
But real life, or at least my life, does not work that way.
There are film friends and home friends and dorm friends and a boyfriend and acquaintances and so many people to keep happy and involved in my life that I get overwhelmed and begin to resent it. I begin to resent that there are so many people in my life and that I have to constantly work so hard to keep them there.
I get so fed up that I tell myself just drop a few, Kristy. Cut out anyone unnecessary from your life. You don’t need them. And more importantly, they don’t need you. Frankly, this is a lie. All the people I have in my life are wonderful. They support me. They treat me well. They make my days brighter and my nights clearer.
It just gets difficult sometimes to constantly be giving myself away.
They (oh yes, the ominous “they”) say that it’s better to do one thing well that 10 things alright.
I wonder if that might be the same relationships. Maybe it would be better to have one or two strong relationships that I put the majority of my time and effort into instead of tons of relationships that I half-commit myself to. Hmm.